Wedding guest list stress! 5 tips to help you plan a small wedding.
Updated Feb 2021.
How to keep your wedding guest list under control & prevent it from snowballing
Contents
How to keep your wedding guest list intentionally small
How to strip your wedding guest list back to the bare bones
Have an uneven split
Think of your wedding guests as individuals
Pick a small wedding venue
Wedding guest list compromise
How to keep your wedding guest list intentionally small
Guest list stress!! One of the trickiest elements of wedding planning is deciding who should get an invitation. This is likely to be the source of most of your wedding related stress. If you want an intimate wedding or need to scale back your guest list, read my top tips to keep your guest list intentionally small.
Strip back to the bare bones
If you are struggling with your guest list, strip it back to the bare bones. Sit down with your partner & each write a list of the people that you simply couldn’t imagine getting married without. It might be your parents, your siblings, a group of close friends or it might be just your fiancé. Think of the people that you turn to for support, people who really know & understand you, people who are present & active in your life. Put them at the top of your list.
Have an uneven split
It’s tempting to want your guest list to be an even split with a balance of people from both sides but it doesn’t have to be. The chances are your individual lists will differ in size & by accepting this imbalance you are avoiding falling into the trap of inviting extra people on one side to balance out the numbers.
Think of people as individuals
This is definitely a controversial tip, but one reason that guest lists quickly snowball out of control is that when it comes to wedding we tend to think of people in pairs rather than as individuals. It might initially seem rude to only invite your friend & not their partner but if you’re planning an intimate wedding it can be key. For example, if you’re dreaming of a wedding with just a handful of your closest friends & family, do just that & just invite the key people. When your friends & family hear about your plans & how tiny your wedding is they will be honoured to have made the cut & will most likely know at least half of the people attending your wedding so they won’t be worrying about attending a big event on their own or not having anyone to talk to.
Pick a small wedding venue
By choosing an intimate venue you automatically set an upper limit for your guest list. This is a great way to ensure your wedding won’t start to creep up in number & is also perfect if you have a family member trying to add extra people to your guest list - you have a real reason why random people you barley know won’t be coming to one of the most significant days of your life!
Compromise
Life is full of compromise and when it comes to wedding planning sometimes comprise is not only helpful but essential. If you & your partner have identical visions of your ideal day, that makes wedding planning much easier but opposites do attract! What if one of you is a social butterfly & wants to throw a massive party while the other is shy & wants to keep it low key. What do you do? My advice, start married life as you mean to continue - compromise! Work together to find a solution that works for you both. Plan an intimate ceremony with minimal guests & then have a bigger wedding reception. Have a big church ceremony & then escape for a private meal with close family &/or friends. Plan a traditional wedding day but escape in the middle for your own mini elopement. Play with the different options & comprise to find something that speaks to you both.
There genuinely is no right to wrong way to get married, obviously you have to fulfil the legal requirements to make it official but outside of that, the shape of your wedding day is entirely down to your personal taste. You could have an intimate wedding with just you & your fiancé & still cut a cake & have a first dance. You could have a big wedding & swap the traditional sit down meal for a chilled out BBQ or swap the speeches for keepsake letters. You could plan a romantic intimate wedding with just immediate family & host the biggest & best hen/stag parties with all your friends. The options are genuinely endless whether you go big, intentionally small or somewhere in-between, plan a day that feels right for you as a couple.
If you love the idea of planning an intimate wedding in Northern Ireland, check out my Top 7 Intimate Wedding Venues Northern Ireland.